The Proven Power Of Boundaries


Social Media
follow @alifebyyou

Two blessed Mamas, entrepreneurial mavens, heart-centred creators, ultimate manifestors, ever-evolving mindset champions and glorious women of color striving to inspire a movement. Learn more about us...

more categories

We're MJ & Jennifer

Setting boundaries is no easy thing.

For most, it’s a skill that needs to be developed and exercised over time. You may have established unpenetrable boundaries in some areas of your life while other parts are blurry.

Saying “no” and drawing lines in the sand in your business may be easy for you but declining a family barbecue fills you with guilt and feels impossible to do.  

Yet setting limits is the key to having healthy family, friend, and business relationships.

The art of boundary-setting is a work in progress. We’re hoping the following advice will help!

Develop and Cultivate Self-Awareness

It all starts within. Self-awareness and self-reflection are necessary to determine what you can and cannot tolerate.  

How can you expect people to respect your boundaries you don’t even understand what it is you want. if you haven’t taken the time to self-assess you don’t know what you need, what you feel, or what causes you anxiety.

Finding peace and creating a safe space for yourself depends on self-clarity.

Pushing your emotions aside or brushing your anxiety away will take you directly to burnout and affect your mental health.  

You will end up doing things that are out of alignment with your values, goals, and desires.

Working with your human design and understanding your energy will provide you with a reliable north star to follow.

Understand & Respect Other People’s Boundaries

You can’t ask for what you aren’t prepared to give. Understanding goes both ways.

At some point you’ll run into someone who you feel is exercising a ridiculous boundary. This is frustrating for sure.

But it’s not up to you to change someone else’s mind. You have no control over what other people choose to think, believe, or how they behave

The pandemic is a perfect example. It was the ultimate test of building hard limits.

Hopefully, through this experience, we have all learned that we need to respect each other’s comfort levels without judgment.

It’s okay to offer a different perspective but if it doesn’t resonate it’s not your job to change other people’s views.  

It will only lead to you feeling like you’re banging your head against the wall and rob you of your energy and happiness.

Determine Your Own Level Of Sharing On Social Media

Social media platforms were designed to be a place to connect, express yourself, and share information. Unfortunately, while some people use this as a vehicle for spreading positivity not everyone has the same mindset. 

Because you get to hide behind a screen there’s a danger of oversharing or portraying a certain lifestyle. People feel emboldened, which is why there is also a lot of negativity, bullying, and disinformation online. 

In essence, there are no boundaries.

That means you have to make your own rules based on your intentions when it comes to your digital presence. 

You have to decide what you are comfortable sharing. It’s up to you whether that’s no holds barred or maintaining your privacy.

Being “authentic” doesn’t mean you have to put everything out there. It’s okay to keep some things sacred.

Allow Your Boundaries To Be Fluid

Nothing is set in stone. It’s okay for your boundaries to shift and transform over time. After all, you grow and change. Why shouldn’t your limits?

It’s also fine to set new boundaries where you had none before. The more you get to know yourself, the better you are at deciding what makes you comfortable and what you can tolerate.

Don’t expect the people around you to adust as well as you do. They may resist the changes because they’re used to you giving in.

Remember there is no black and white when it comes to boundaries. An all-or-nothing approach will just make you feel tied down and won’t allow for flexibility and growth.

Start Slow And Build From There

If you’re like most people, setting boundaries can feel scary. Giving someone a hard “no” can make you sweat and your heartbeat fast.

So start slow. Then build from there.  

Remaining open without fully committing can ease the pressure. Be willing to be convinced. That will give you the time and space to decide what it is you really want.

What’s most important is to set your boundaries and then exercise them. Just like learning any new skill, you have to practice to get better at it. This is something only you can do.

If it’s easier to set boundaries at work then perfect those until you feel strong enough to set them with family or friends. Or vice versa.

Remember not to let others guilt you, bully you or talk you into doing something that you don’t want to do.  

Having weak boundaries can lead to people taking advantage of you. Not necessarily because they mean to, but simply because they can.

Boundaries are an essential part of self-care. Without them, you will feel depleted, taken advantage of, and violated which can lead to anger and burnout.  

It can negatively affect your wellness and health.

When you start doing the internal work, setting boundaries will get easier and easier.  

There will be times when you’ll feel alone because change doesn’t sit well with everyone, but stick with it. It’ll be worth it.

Is it harder for you to set a boundary with family, friends, or in business? Let us know in the comments below.

Comments +

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



listen to the


subscribe on


Join the conversation on the podcast, YouTube, and Instagram!

Check out Our