Gold Digger or Goal Digger: Go From “Secure the Bag” to Believing In Yourself


Social Media
follow @alifebyyou

Two blessed Mamas, entrepreneurial mavens, heart-centred creators, ultimate manifestors, ever-evolving mindset champions and glorious women of color striving to inspire a movement. Learn more about us...

more categories

We're MJ & Jennifer

There’s a whole movement of women out there looking to “secure the bag” when it comes to romantic relationships. You know, Get the money. Not for themselves but from a man, aka gold diggers. 

I’m sure you’ve heard the Cardi B songs.

*insert Cardi B gif*

Dating for money isn’t exactly something new. Arranged marriages have been happening for centuries. The best ones were about gaining wealth and security.  

The way women are brazenly going about getting paid is the part that’s changed. They’ll do whatever it takes to get the things that they want and think they need.

Ladies, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards. It’s okay to want a successful man who makes a certain amount of money. You are entitled to have your expectations met.

But before you spend all that energy, trying to manifest this dream, here’s a few things that might change your perspective.

Get To Know Yourself And Understand What Brings You Joy

We encourage you to work on yourself first. You need to understand why it is you want what you want in order to become a successful goal digger.

Are you being influenced by social media? Are you following the trends? Are you listening more to others than yourself? Have you been sucked into the sensationalism of rappers and celebrities?

Stop looking at others and start focusing on yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s important to find your own joy.  

It’s time to take a step back, look within and ask yourself legit and clear questions. Answer them honestly and then follow the answers and your soul.

What works for you, may not be what works for someone else. Follow your own path and your own journey. Learn where YOU want to go and take the steps to get there.

Look for a Collaborator, Not a Rescuer

Great partners elevate each other so they can rise to a better place. Look for someone you can goal dig with because you BOTH bring something rich to the table. 

Looking for someone who has a certain dollar sign in their bank account, or has a certain job so that you don’t have to contribute isn’t good for your mental health

Working in tandem towards common goals and desires requires you to do your part.  That’s how you will find alignment in the life you want to live.

You need to be whole, healthy, and know what it is that you bring to the relationship. If that means more self-reflection and maybe even therapy then do it.

You will attract the right person when you are solid in who you are.

Get Clear About The Love You Truly Want

Dig deep. Forget about what your friends, your mom, or social media are saying about your pursuit of becoming a goal digger.

It’s easy to get caught up on what you think love should look like. Love isn’t money and love isn’t things.  

Love isn’t that Chanel bag. 

Only you know what love looks like for you.  

Isn’t it the person who’s gonna be there for you? Who’s rubbing your back when you’re sad? Who’s holding your hand for support? Telling you everything is going to be okay?  

it’s really about how you connect with someone on a deeper level. How you work as a team to get through difficult moments. How you support one another and help each other become the best version of themselves.

That’s real love.

Look For Vision, Ambition, Mindset & Alignment

Although you may think so now, finances alone will never be enough to satisfy all your needs.

When you start dating someone it’s important to ask the right questions, like:

What’s their 5-year plan? What’s their 10-year plan? What’s their vision? Are they willing to execute it? What kind of sacrifices are they willing to make?

Do the answers align with your vision, ambitions, and passions? Having the right mindset and having common goals is what leads to a successful partnership or marriage.  

You can’t base your entire relationship around whether someone has money or not. Because it gets old and it won’t fix all your problems.

It all cycles back to intention, not the zeros that are in the bank account. Be patient and don’t settle. Be happy by yourself rather than squeeze yourself into a shoe that doesn’t fit.

Learn To Stand On Your Own First

Do you know the vision you have for yourself? 

Trying to ride someone else’s coattails may be tempting but if you don’t know where you’re going, or what it is that you want, then you’re lost. It’s essential to find your own light and peace.

So many people just want someone to come along, swoop in and fix everything for them. That’s problematic because you need to know how to rely on yourself. It’s one thing to find a supportive partner but you have to be accountable to yourself. You need to be self-sufficient.

Who are you at the end of the day? Can you stand on that? Can you feel alone with yourself? Even like yourself for all that you are?

Don’t stress so much about the bag. You can have billions of dollars and still be miserable. Money doesn’t fix every problem.  

Don’t get us wrong. There’s no shame in wanting to make a lot of money. It brings freedom and allows experiences. Just know that a partnership based solely on money will never bring you the happiness you’re looking for.

Don’t waver in what you want, ladies but understand why it is that you want what you want. If having a lot of money is your goal then go get it.  

Just understand why you’re doing it. 

If this has caught your interest and you want to catch up on all our blogs you can get access to them here <<LINK>>

Comments +

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



listen to the


subscribe on


Join the conversation on the podcast, YouTube, and Instagram!

Check out Our